Forgiveness. We’re taught to forgive people no matter the situation. We’re taught it’s the right thing to do and you always want to be the “bigger person”. Or we’re taught to forgive them, even if they’re not sorry. I say, f--- that.
Everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect. Those aspects are what makes us human. We all say or do things that can potentially hurt others, but when is it ok not to forgive? And can not forgiving someone be justified? I like to believe that forgiveness, like trust or respect, should be earned. One cannot assume that just because the person you hurt is “good”, they will forgive you right away. That would make the “good” people everywhere pushovers.
Because of my past and current situations, I have a lot of patience and a high tolerance for certain things; rude people, immaturity, drunken fights, etc. Strictly because I would hate for someone not to forgive me because of something stupid I said whilst intoxicated. It happens. I’ll admit when I’m wrong, and then bake them cookies. Forgiveness granted.
What I can’t, and will never forgive, is dishonesty. I have never been able to wrap my mind around a good reason to lie to a person. Why? Because there isn’t a good reason to lie, ever! Even in the event of sparing a person’s feelings, just be honest. If they find out you lied, you suffer consequences of them not forgiving you. But your conscience is clear if you’re honest. You’ve done nothing wrong. However, if you’ve done something that can hurt others, be honest. Though it may have been a mistake, or not, the right thing to do is to tell the truth. It hurts less that way. But then that begs the question, should you forgive people if they hurt you, even if they were honest. Though it may seem like a copout answer, it depends on the situation and how badly you’re hurt.
I’m a firm believer in not forgiving people if they lie to you. It shows they have no concern for your feelings, not to mention, a lack of respect for you. Consider this, if everyone in the world was honest, we would have more forgiveness, and potentially, peace. And who doesn’t want that?
I think this piece will be more emotionally effective if you begin with an anecdote of a real life experience you have had where someone lied and it was unforgivable from your point of view.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ryan but will add to it.
ReplyDeleteGiven the fact that abstract concepts, like truth and conscience, are incapable of being defined or given a universally accepted standard, it is hard for this piece to succeed in its current form. That is because right now it seems to be more of an opinion piece, which is fine, but it doesn't extend beyond that. It is one opinion and it doesn't convince the reader of anything. The reason, I think, is because there is no authority. Why should the reader care what a writer says about lying, if s/he doesn't establish his/her credibility? Like Ryan said, you need an anecdote or situation in order to contextualize this, and support it.
I agree with the above. In terms of Prof. Chambers's "elements of nonfiction" list, I think that while you as an author are present in this piece (element 1), and there is some degree of self-exploration (at least self reflection), both are diminished and never made concrete by a situation where you are engaged with the world. The piece would have benefitted from more elements of fiction (description, narrative, etc.).
ReplyDeleteI think all of the pieces we've read in class have gotten at that insight, that opinion, through the exploration of an experience. In the writing of both, both come about. Or something.
We get a good sense of internal conflict coming from this piece. You seem to be warring with yourself over the complexities of bestowing forgiveness, receiving and administering judgement, and alleviating the baggage of past decisions.
ReplyDeleteIt is an intriguing debate, and i would feel it would be better served with some real-world examples. Perhaps clarifying which types of relationships you are talking about; friendship, familial, or romantic?
This gives us a general subject: honesty and forgiveness, but does not get beyond the abstractions. We experience the world through our senses, and as readers we experience writing through our senses too. We need something to engage our senses here, to embody these thoughts. We are told of "past and current situations" but have no specific details to differentiate these situations from any others. Each author's particular experiences are the stuff with which she has to work, and the stuff that makes for good writing.
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